I dreamed my daughter's death last night. It was the first time. I have had nightmares ever since Oliver died, and throughout this pregnancy they have been of losing another baby. But I have never dreamed of losing my daughter specifically. In this dream, I knew her name, I knew her due date, knew exactly how long I'd been carrying her. I knew her as an individual, so when I started bleeding I knew it was her dying. In my dream I called my husband and he couldn't come home from work to take me to the hospital. I called my mother, and she told me it was my fault, and I should have expected it. So I lay alone in my bed bleeding my daughter's life away.